Climbing and Drowning: Two Kinds of Stress
Not all stress is bad—here’s how to recognize different types of stress and use them to your advantage
Are you underwater, or are you climbing a mountain?
Anxiety. Discomfort. Pressure. Stress. We all experience it, most of us can’t help it - and like most addictions, we know it’s bad for us. In fact, there’s an overwhelming amount of research that shows being stressed negatively impacts your lifespan1234. Which is great, because now you can be stressed about being stressed.
But here’s the paradox: stress is unavoidable. Even if we mitigate it through mindfulness (which I’ll cover in a later post), growth itself demands uncertainty and risk—which, inevitably, causes stress. So how is it that we need stress to thrive, yet stress itself shortens our lifespan?
Upon realizing this seeming dichotomy, I took time to reflect on all the kinds of stressors I’ve experienced - health issues, bad bosses, fundraising, running late, first dates, promotions, body image, deadlines - it’s an endless list, and one many of us likely share.
In examining this list, however, I stumbled upon a realization. All of these stressors overwhelmingly fell into two types - one that felt ‘good’, and one that felt ‘bad’.
All of these stressors overwhelmingly fell into two types - one that felt ‘good’, and one that felt ‘bad’.
In this post, I’ll share with you these two stress types, how recognizing them has shaped my life and decision-making, and introduce a third, personal type unique to you. By the end, I hope to give you the tools to recognize how stress impacts your life—and more importantly, when to do something about it.
Type 1: Climbing a Mountain - Eustress
This first type of stress is, predictably, my favourite - and to me the best way to describe it is that feeling of climbing up a mountain.
Climbing a mountain, of course, isn’t easy. You’re putting the work in. But that work is getting you somewhere. You’re making progress, you feel momentum, you can sink your teeth into it - and importantly, you can admire the view.
There is, in fact, a medical term for this experience - it’s called eustress.
Eustress occurs when the gap between what you have and what you want is pushed—but not overwhelmed.
Critically, while eustress is challenging, the challenge tends to be manageable, and often, rewarding. In other words, eustress occurs when the gap between what you have and what you want is pushed - but not overwhelmed. With this gap and an achievable goal in sight - eustress can help foster challenge and motivation.
You might experience eustress all the time without realizing it - managing lots of tasks to meet a tight deadline, pushing your maximum lift at the gym, performing in front of an audience - these kinds of stresses can lead to a positive response.
Interestingly, there’s an actual empirical relationship between your stress and your performance. This relationship, known as the Yerkes-Dodson law, shows that performance increases with psychological arousal - but only up to a point. If the levels of arousal become too high, performance decreases.
This law is used to design everything from user interfaces, to fighter pilot cockpits, to the schedules of surgeons.
Type 2: Being Underwater - Distress
Distress lives at the other end of our stress spectrum.
Where eustress occurs when you feel confidence in your ability to solve a problem or cope with a situation, distress occurs when you’re out of your depth, or far from control. For me, distress is best described as feeling underwater. It’s overwhelming, you can’t breathe, and unlike climbing a mountain - often you don’t know when it’s going to end.
Counter to this underwater feeling, distress may not be permanent. It might last only long enough until the situation changes to return to your control, your perspective changes, or you acquire the tools to overcome the challenge.
That being said, every time I experience prolonged distress - it’s an opportunity for introspection.
What are the variables that are causing this distress?
Are these temporary or permanent circumstances?
How much longer am I willing to tolerate this level of distress?
Looking back on our Yerkes-Dodson curve - you can see that distress falls on the right half of the spectrum, and does indeed impact your ability to perform.
Though we often think about this curve in the context of optimizing the stress to performance ratio for fighter pilots and surgeons - make no mistake, it does apply to everyone.
Type 3: Daydreams, Creativity, Relationships - Your Stress
Finally, I believe it’s absolutely worth cultivating a third stress definition - one that is personal to you.
We know that stress brings with it trade-offs - appetite loss, restlessness, fatigue are all common “stress side effects”.
Conversely, however, I encourage you to think of what it feels like to be in a situation where you’re thriving instead.
How much time do you allocate to your hobbies?
How present are you in your relationships?
Where does your brain wander when you’re not stressed?
What does fun feel like?
I believe the answers to these questions comprise the third kind of stress - and serve as your personal health metric.
For me, my personal health metric is a function of two major areas (1) daydreaming and (2) project appetite. When my mind is in a healthy spot, my mind wanders to fun ideas, and often I have the appetite to actually pursue them.
In my case - detecting an absence of daydreams and a lack of appetite for projects is an indication that I need to evaluate my circumstances - much like with our definition of distress above.
Final Thoughts
Stress is inevitable—but struggling blindly isn’t.
Recognizing the difference between eustress (the kind that fuels you) and distress (the kind that drains you) helps you decide when to push forward and when to step back. But beyond these two definitions, your personal health metrics can also tell you when something deeper needs attention.
The goal isn’t to eliminate stress—it’s to understand it, work with it, and use it to grow. Learn to name stress, recognize its impact, and redefine it on your terms.
PS - Did you like the charts in this article? I made a free widget to build them here: charts.alivira.com
https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/lower-stress-how-does-stress-affect-the-body
https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/health
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20046037
https://neurolaunch.com/how-many-years-does-stress-take-off-your-life/